No tags yet.
Have you ever met someone more determined in life than your child towards his or her wants? I don't know about you, but I haven't. There is no greater determination or dedication than these younger ones for the purpose of gaining the approval of their parents.
Unfortunately, this level of determination is not always acknowledged by parents who are always forced to negotiate, anywhere in life whether it’s in a grocery shop, or when it comes to purchasing a toy, while trying to get a shower. It is as if children can see that we are insecure and try to cope with the moment of weakness.
Why do children negotiate?
As with any behaviour, in order to be properly solved you must first understand the root of the problem. As a good parenting expert, I teach tools based on child Psychology that represent that a child's behaviour is not random.
Child nagging is a learned behaviour, and a child of an age can pick up. Kids will keep asking it because they know how to search that very annoying moment of you to get their work done. In a nutshell, nagging worked earlier and will work for ever they have caught you right.
How do I prevent my child from it?
Like for any learned behaviour, to change you have to make it unlearned, the same thing works here.
Take steps to change their belief system about you.
It takes just three simple words: "Asked and answered."
The concept is simple. When your child is demanding something wrong just says "no" to the answer, he is likely to come back in five minutes - this time with you know, he really wants to. Be firm with your answer.
Instead of repeating yourself or jumping into a lecture, avoid having your child glaze over and follow the procedure below:
Step 1:
Ask, "Have you ever heard of 'Ask and Answer'?" (He might say no.)
Step Two:
Ask, "Did you ask me a question about what you want?" (He'll say yes.)
Step Three:
Ask, "Did I answer?" (He might say, "Yes")
Step Four:
Ask, "Do I and I look like a parent who will change my mind if you ask me the same things over and over again?" (Child is likely to leave with frustration and is likely to find another way.)
Step five:
If he/ she asked again, simply "asked and answered." Say (no other words needed)
Once this technique is installed, your job is finished.
Consistency is key! Once you've decided to "ask and answer" with your harassed child, stick to it.
Even if it takes a little patience, your child will finally connect the dots and you'll see the results!
Parents as a team
"Ask and Answer" should be a joint effort with your spouse, and any family or friends that need to nag the child and talk to your child. When the child realize that they will not get a "yes" even after asking to every member possible in family , they will retire.
Make sure all caregivers are following maintaining consistency.
Happy Parenting.